For some people, setting boundaries can be a guilt ridden affair, as they feel punishing and unloving by setting healthy limits. It is usually the tyrants and dictators of the family that seem to have no problem setting boundaries, so an association is made in the brain between limits and being a callous and unloving jerk. The problem is, tyrants do not set healthy limits, they are controlling and hot tempered, they demonstrate that they are feeling tremendously powerless by acting in such a way.
The belief that limits are unloving may stem from experiencing people trying to set limits on others in ways that actually violate boundaries, and not true boundaries. Additionally, setting limits may actually get the person trying to set them punished more, by those who supposedly already have decent limits. However, boundaries are NOT punishing, they are empowering!
Learn how boundaries really work, and how to enforce them easily and effortlessly, by letting go of this limiting belief.