Inside-out vs Outside-in Happiness

One of things that I remember well from my years of dating is the need of many of the women to feel responsible for my happiness, as it reinforced their own desire to feel special, and to feel secure within the relationship. They would say “I’ve never felt this way before, have you?” I knew that they were fishing for emotional validation for our relationship, and wanting for me to reply “no, only you have […] Read more »

My One

When I say that Aline is “my” partner, I do not do so from a possessive “my”, since she is not my property or object, but I say “my” as in “my arm”, “my leg”, “my body”, as this denotes a type of intimacy and unity between us. I do not own my arm, but I am connected and One with my arm, and the same is true in my partnership with Aline – she […] Read more »

Romance drugs us; love awakens us.

robert

Just about anyone can get romantic, but far fewer can truly love and sustain love. Romance asks little more of us than popping a pill, but love — especially love in genuinely intimate relationship — asks for plenty, requiring not just our hearts but also our wakefulness, our integrity and discernment, and our on-tap capacity to both open and protect ourselves. Cutting through our romantic illusions does not, however, mean an end to relational magic; […] Read more »

Bee Mine, Valentine in 2014!

Bee Mine Valentine!

On this Valentines Day, may we reflect on who we are and what we have, and dedicate to love ourselves more by seeking to understand who we are. Intimacy is of the heart, and thus is a state of being and not a doing, it does not come through doing loving actions, but by asking “why” we/they feel how we/they feel, “why” we/they have the experience that we/they have, and “why” we/they are the way […] Read more »