It is easy to find out what you hate about yourself by looking at the mirrors in your life, namely, the people that trigger you. Are you really mad at them, or are you upset at what they are showing you about yourself?
“The unnamed night wrestler of Genesis 32 represents a dimension of ourselves that has been rejected and labeled as “evil other.” It comes back to injure and maim us during the night. And since it is still a part of ourselves we cannot bear to acknowledge, when we sense it in someone else, we are all the more frightened and angry. And often, failing to find it in someone else, we project it onto them anyway, for this deludes and comforts us into feeling that we have utterly torn it away. Hating something in someone else is easier than self-reproach.” ~Rabbi Lawrence Kushner, from the book “God was in this Place and I, i Did Not Know“