It’s now very common to hear people say, “I’m rather offended by that.” As if that gives them certain rights. It’s actually nothing more…than a shine. “I find that offensive.” It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be repeated as a phrase. “I am offended by that.” Well, so fucking what.” ~Stephen Fry
Political correctness and supposed “self-respect” ends the conversation prior to either party gaining awareness or understanding of why the trigger is there in the first place. “Why” are you offended in the first place? Who does the perpetrator remind you of from your childhood? Have you ever been offensive in this way? Are you resisting your offensive tendencies, so that somebody else must act them out for you? Asking “why” to understand the trigger will assist the offender to understand themselves better too, additionally, they too can ask “why” they behaved how they did, and seek to understand their role in the dysfunctional pattern.
Instead of ending the conversation too early with “You offended me”, allow for the trigger to convey the message that it so desperately desires to tell you. Instead of shutting it up, learn from it.