This meme completely misses the bigger picture, and keeps people small and disempowered:
The notion that because we were born with a particular sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, or mental illness, that we have no choice over such experiences, is a very limited perspective of the overall issue, more politically correct than actually correct. The only choice in the list above that really is out of our control in this material reality is our race of origin. We always have a choice, inasmuch as we choose to make our unconscious–conscious. We can rise above unconscious choice, which is still a choice, by becoming more conscious of why we act and behave as we do.
“When all parts of ourselves are taken out of the darkness and exposed to the light, they will support us in creating healthy relationships, regaining good mental health, and achieving our potential.” – Debbie Ford
The idea that we have behaviors that we cannot control is also a tremendously disempowering worldview, one that perceives that individuals are not capable or powerful enough to become conscious, and make conscious choices, in everything they experience. This worldview is extremely limited and narrow minded, it does not see the wealth of possibilitlies within each and every individual – it is not being aware of our capacity to write the script to our life, whatever it may be.
The adage “I was born this way” is an excuse for continuing subconscious patterns, as our subconscious mind is our DNA and genetic/energetic bloodlines, but we can break free from this prison as well – and make it conscious. Just as we can choose to make our unconscious–conscious, we can also choose to make our subconscious–conscious, therefore we always have a choice. We are never without choice in our lives, we just need to learn to rise above unconscious and subconscious choice, to make a bridge between our three minds – and into purely conscious choice.
The belief that a person is born straight is just as damaging as the belief that a person is born gay, lesbian, bisexual, or of the wrong gender, as it is an externalization of personal responsibility and power. Let’s try this on for size, instead of unconsciously falling in love with somebody based on their gender, choose the person you love and connect to as a conscious decision, regardless of gender. Gender preference limits our range of choices, but we do have the ability to choose who we love and are meant to be with, and not just based on their gender. In regards to gender identity, we can choose to integrate our shadow side, and balance our masculine and feminine within, accepting who we are, not who we wish we could be from our unconscious or subconscious programs; we have the capacity to experience all of ourselves, and not just the side we feel attracted to indulge.
We always have a choice in every situation, even if we’re not conscious or aware enough to perceive that we do. Understanding why we behave and act as we do unravels unconscious and subconscious patterns; it is through asking the right questions and receiving their answers that each person can transform their limiting patterns, and consciously choose new ones. Making the choice to shine light into the darkness of our unconscious and subconscious minds is tremendously powerful, and slowly reveals that our power over our behavior has been intact all along, waiting for us to discover it.
If you make sexual attraction your main criteria, you’re just going to live out your old patterns. Your inner discoveries will actually be distracted by outer fascinations…
…Follow your attractions. Follow your enticements. Just be aware of the level at which you are receiving your information. Because the deeper you start, the deeper you’ll go.
This is a process and not a goal, a gradual unfolding of personal power, as awareness spreads to each unaware aspect we may be hiding or protecting. Rather than enabling unconscious / unaware repetition of blind behavior in the name of compassion, it is time that we take responsibility for our behaviors and look upon our shadow side, and allow it to come into the light of consciousness – to be understood, loved, and transformed.
This radical form of personal responsibility is empowering. It is precise. It is compassionate. It is intimate. It is loving.
For more on background information on this topic, please see the article, “Nature, Nurture, & Our Three Minds“, as well as the following video: