In earlier posts, we mentioned that we work almost exclusively with the two duality wounds, “freedom” and “security”, and how the freedom wound relates to “chaos”, and that the security wound represents “order” from the yin/yang symbol. We’re going to develop that a bit now.
There are two areas in which people will act out their particular wound within them, greed/sacrifice and lust/jealousy; which are the split up halves of abundance and satisfaction accordingly. Stereotypically, women tend towards freedom with greed, and security with jealousy, while men tend towards freedom with lust, and security with sacrifice. This configuration is actually a balanced duality relationship too, as both the man and the woman will be the Victim of the other 50% of the time, and the Villain to the other 50% of the time; the internal masculine in each will be the Villain in their freedom wound, and the internal feminine in each will be the Victim in their security wound.
(To learn more about the Duality to Unity Feelings Wheel, shown above, see the following PAGE.)
You also have the other two archetypes, the Seductress and the Hero, where the Seductress will be a woman fully in the freedom wound in both lust and greed, total chaos, and the Hero will be a man in the security wound in both lust and greed, total order. A Victim can forgo the balance and go full in with a Hero, choosing to be disempowered by her Hero at every turn, because he rescues her from her own poor choices and beliefs, helping her to feel more safe than she could ever feel with the Villain. Conversely, the Villain can forgo balance and go full in with a Seductress, choosing to be disempowered by her at every turn, because she allows him to indulge in his freedom needs without consequences. Choosing the road of less balance is a workaround to avoid the painful reality that a more mature Victim/Villain relationship presents, for it takes a higher pain threshold to experience a more balanced emotional relationship than it does to follow the easy path.
Of course, these are stereotypes that have more than likely been conditioned into humanity, especially through the media, but the susceptibility has always been there. Please remember though, that these are internal energies first and foremost, masculine and feminine, while the gender can be a stereotype, the internal energy will usually be more of a rule; sometimes the woman will be the Hero and sometimes the man will be the Victim, and sometimes the woman will be the Villain and the man will be the Seductress, it just depends on how a person was raised within this four archetype system. Additionally, both gay and lesbian relationships will be more about the internal energies and less about gender, although one or both partners can take up a gender stereotype and polarize to one extreme or the other.
In our relationship, Aline had a prominent internal masculine Hero and is a Victim feminine, while I was a Villain masculine with a Seductress feminine, but the first year of our relationship, we tapped out (with EFT, shadow work, and Anima/Animus work) our Seductress, so now I have an internal Victim and Villain, and we are now working on understanding and letting go of our Hero, so that we can just be the Victim and Villain together—balanced. However, Aline and I do not desire to stay stuck in the Victim/Villain forever either, we intend to understand why we are a Victim and Villain, and allow ourselves to see the illusion of it fully, so that we can upgrade our balance into a harmonious life together.
The point to this particular discussion on security and freedom is how “they” are conditioning viewers/consumers to skew towards the Hero or Seductress through entertainment; books, TV, and movies, because it is less balanced – they want humanity to be either MORE chaos and freedom (Seductress/Villain), or MORE order and security (Hero/Victim), because it is easier for them to control and manipulate them. Understanding and letting go of the workarounds of the Hero and the Seductress is the first step to leaving that game behind, while understanding and letting go of the Victim and Villain relationship is the second step of maturity; both of which require a more complete understanding of why the lust in the greed are there in the first place, and what is lacking within each individual to cause the imbalances.
Why are they lusting and in the freedom wound? Why are they jealous and in the security wound? Why are they greedy and in the freedom wound? Why are they sacrificial and in the security wound? After understanding “why”, a couple then graduates to a relationship free of pain, suffering, and egoic workarounds, to instead experience the fullness that they were lacking – an individuated and whole relationship that is full of satisfaction and abundance.